woke up with Mumford in my head this morning. those are always start the best days :)

i'm feelin kinda all over the place.

someday. 
someday my life will settle into a rhythm that makes sense. 
someday my emotions will be steady and not a roller coster.
someday i will learn that no matter how i feel, He has things under control.
someday my heart will constantly rejoice at the beauty, splendor, and grace.
someday nothing else will matter but His glory.


i pray that someday is sooner than later. 

thanks for thanksgiving

mug of coffee in hand, raindrops on the roof, and laughter of great friends in the background. so simple, yet so good.

this thanksgiving break has been such a blessing. God is good.

it's funny, i wouldn't have thought that this break would be so enjoyable, as i usually hate being away from my family during the holidays, but somehow i have had a really amazing time. He really does bless me in so many ways.

thanksgiving was lovely and i'm so glad at the turnout and that i could spend it with such wonderful people that love God.

then being able to see the trans siberian orchestra? seriously amazing. and being around a family was so much fun. i'm glad i had a little taste of that during the break, it felt good.

at dinner when we said what we were thankful for my list just went on and on and on. mostly it was friends, family, my new niece :), biola (a post will come soon on this), but mostly Jesus and the way that i have been changed in the past year. he has changed me, and for that i am grateful. 

Psalm 27:1-8

One thing have I asked of the LORD,
that will I seek after:
that I may dwell in the house of the LORD
all the days of my life,
to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD
and to inquire in his temple.

For he will hide me in his shelter
in the day of trouble;
he will conceal me under the cover of his tent;
he will lift me high upon a rock.

And now my head shall be lifted up
above my enemies all around me,
and I will offer in his tent
sacrifices with shouts of joy;
I will sing and make melody to the LORD.

Hear, O LORD, when I cry aloud;
be gracious to me and answer me!
  You have said, “Seek my face.”
My heart says to you,
“Your face, LORD, do I seek.”

one of those rare moments of peace in the whirlwind of life

every part of philippians 4 seems to resonate with my heart, soul, and mind this week.
peace and contentment beyond understanding.
he is so good. i am so thankful.
only with Him am i complete.

i miss mi familia today.
and my home.
i guess the midpoint of the semester is when it usually hits.
i miss those cold winter days and nice cozy houses. i miss my niece and all the wonderful new things she's learning. i miss my sisters and how we just fit together. i miss my parents and how they just roll their eyes at us. i miss the snow. i miss the nice cup of coffee, cocoa, or tea with a good book. i even miss wiping the snow off the car. i miss mittens and scarfs. i miss "minnesota nice" and talking to strangers about the crazy weather. i miss it.

does this make my decision as to where i'm going to live after graduation easier? no, sadly. only more difficult.

is it possible to be a traveller at heart and yet still yearn for the warmth of a consistent home?

craving

i just want to

feel the wind in my hair,
taste the salt on my lips,
hear the waves crash,
see the water meet the sky,
and smell that one and only scent of pure ocean air.

"you desired my attention but refused my affection"

is seems as though this has been the story of my life. 
i need to stop essentially breaking my own heart.
Lord, help me stay focused on you and your purposes and forget about my own desires. instead, give me your desires.