change.
it's a funny thing. i have a love/hate relationship with the concept of change.

my life has changed so much in the period of a year. and i am so completely happy that i have changed as a person. that God has changed me. this exact time last year was probably the lowest, worst time in my life. no exaggeration.

and here i am now. in the place that God wants me to be. striving to be the girl God wants me to be.
i am astounded by His love and grace.

london for 10 days was incredible. one of the most challenging experiences i've probably had- but one of the greatest as well. i am incredibly emotionally drained- but He is filling me up again. His love is what i'm living for.

i am blessed. i have said that countless times in this blog, but it's so true. i have three homes, and three families.

somehow coming back to california is good. i am at peace and i know that i'm in the right place doing the right thing. and i'm excited for what's to come. and i am beyond thankful for the people that God has put in my life. and even more thankful for the trials that i've had to go through to get me through to this place.

i don't know what's in store. and it may be hard. and there will be change. and i will change. but He is sovereign. and merciful. and loving.

when my eyes are fastened on Him- nothing else matters.

love

ok, so i know this is corny. and i know this is what every christian girl on the planet who doesn't have a boy in her life says, but really...


this valentine's day i am in love with God. he is my one and only. 


i have had so many realization's about this lately. i want to be in love with only him. nothing else really matters at all. when my eyes are on him- he is the only thing i see. the challenge is keeping my eyes only on him. its a slow process but its coming. 


he loves me more than anyone ever could. and if he was the only one to ever love me, i would still be complete. he more than completes me. 


honestly, i don't really want a boy in my life right now anyway, i just want to continue learning how to love God with my whole heart. my heart shouldn't belong to anyone but him. everyday, my hunger for him gets stronger and stronger. i can't wait to see what he has in store for me! and i can't wait to know him better. 


he is the lover of my soul. he is my savior. he is my everything. he is all i need. he is my life. he is my eternity. he is my creator. he is my past. he is my present. he is my future. he is the only thing and the only one i will live for. 


and i?
i am his. 


"For your Maker is your husband,
   the LORD of hosts is his name;
and the Holy One of Israel is your Redeemer,
    the God of the whole earth he is called."