and somewhere around 2am it hits me.

this is real.

this book that i'm studying so methodically is real. He is real. it's so easy to forget as i study so intently to pass an exam.

YOU are real. Jesus, my Savior. You came to Earth. You came to die.
for me.
me.

for me to forget about you, for me to hurt you, for me to sin against you, for me to ignore you.
and yet. you want me still.

i ignore you, and you still seek.
i sin against you, and you still forgive.
i hurt you, and you cry out to me.
i forget about you, and you still love me.

my God, you died for me.
yet, how do i die for you?